11-24-13

if i were to show all the feeling that i have to those i love i would be constantly crying and curled up in a ball. i try to make it through without the pain being all that i am. today is a BAD day. I have taken several meds to try to dull the pain but it is no use. i hurt all over and nothing is helping it. i may go back to bed and sleep just so i can't feel it. this is no way to live. I can so understand suicide as an option to the pain like Cindy's cousin John. Just peace and no pain for a while. it is amazing what years of pain can make you tolerate.

11-21-13

hurting really bad tonight

cannot sleep  very tired

11-19-13

hurting pretty steady tonight

my stamina is terrible---i get out of breath so easily

it is not my weight but the vitamin D deficiency that is making me hurt and feel so bad

11-11-13

woke up about 330 with a back spasm

tried for an hour to go back to sleep

janessa tried to rub out the cramp but it did not work

it is 430 and I am up

11-10-13

Woke up at 7 in a lot of pain in my hips and back

Got up and took some meds then went back to bed

i did not have to play piano today so slept till about 11

got up and took my daily meds

have had a headache all day but so has Mom and Janessa

Janessa has rubbed my back several times today

11-2-13

hurting bad this weekend---is it the weather change or what>>>

still no verbal results from blood work

i just took a hot bath hoping to ease the pain

i have a headache that won't quit

it is only 1030 and i am exhausted. I have only been up about 11 hours.