8-6-12

Almost went into a full blown panic attack today. DMS is sooooooo different from NWE. It was chaotic and not organized properly. It totally freaked me. The new gradebook sys is gonna kill me.

dreams of HBIC

I have several nightmares about CB this summer. This last one was bad. I dreamed should put pictures in my personnel file. I could not get anyone to help me. I have no friends. I have been a loner for a while. I have acquaintances. I kept trying the phone and could not get through to Daddy to call a lawyer. There were gonna get rid of me no matter. I woke up crying and depressive all day. Could not stop the tears.

I think it is a delayed reaction to everything. Having to leave a position I loved to get away from her. I hate the unknown and panic episodes are just waiting to get me. I can feel it.

hurting real bad tonite---did tooooo much in my room today

full blown panic attack
feel like a truck has run over me
hope i can make it through
counting the minutes and seconds

small panic episode yesterday---sometimes I wish I could just cry on demand and let it out

panic attack at school --- headed off with meds

extremely tired and drained

having some muscle pain and having trouble sleeping
been on the verge several times in the past weeks of a panic attack